"I like to brag about doing cold plunges."

"I need a beer, cigarette, and a rooftop patio."

An hour from the balcony at Jumeirah Mallorca.

"I can’t help myself if the cigs are in a communal bowl."

A slow morning in Capri, Italy.

"I make $350,000 a year and I have $2,500 in savings."

“I know, I know, I hate me too.”

“I ate an entire cheesecake today.”

"I eat soup for breakfast. Sue me."

It’s not you, it’s me. But it’s also kind of you. No offense, seriously.

"I need a one-night stand. It’s been 6 months."

"Skipping church to bed rot on Easter Sunday."

"I think everyone’s breath is awful."

Too many Negronis, heavy pours of Super Tuscans, and a 300-kilometer journey to paradise.

"I am going to start selling my breastmilk if gas prices get any higher."

"Which pillow would you prefer?"

"It scares me how much I love cigs."

"I think my boyfriend has embarrassing taste in music."