Sunday Confessions: 4-12-26
While Sunday Confessions have largely lived on Substack since they began a couple years ago, I’m going to begin linking everything on Instagram back to this website instead of Substack.
If you’re a traditionalist, just make sure you’re subscribed on Substack and nothing will change for you. Otherwise, just enjoy this week’s confessions.
I need a one night stand. It’s been 6 months.
Went out of town with my friends of over 15 years for a wedding and I realised we have nothing in common now. I might hate all of them.
I successfully convinced my husband to shave his butt. He doesn’t know it’s because I liked how that looks on Heated Rivalry guys.
I didn’t want to go to a volunteer event today (Sunday) so I faked a death in the family to get out of it. Asshole move, I know, but it is going to be 70 and I need to be outside.
Dying for a cigarette.
$54 in my bank account and I don’t get paid for another 8 days.
In my 40s, started traveling with a light weight robe. Absolute best decision. Perfect for not being naked in icky hotel rooms, but also not being confined by cloths.
If presented with the opportunity, I will hook up with my coworker that I flirt with whenever we’re scheduled together. A good choice? Eh nah, but this job is supposed to be temporary anyway.
Considering paying an Etsy witch to break up Lewis Hamilton and Kim Kardashian.
my boyfriend bought me an electric toothbrush in february 2024 and i still have not changed the head on it. i mostly use a manual toothbrush but still… feels wrong.
Tired of listening to my husband bitch about the weeds in our yard but he won’t use chemicals to get rid of them. Bought the good stuff and sprayed the yard while he was at work. He thinks all his natural stuff worked and brags to everyone how he did it.
I have come to terms with the fact that I’ll be marrying for money, not love.
Microdosed weed gummies the entire weekend and hid it from my friends on a girls trip.
My new kink is people telling me they can’t believe I had a baby a few months ago.
Less than a year ago I quit my job and moved across the province for love, only to discover he isn’t at all the person I thought he was. I’m now moving back… heart broken, tail between my legs.
My husband asleep on the couch, watching golf full blast, with his hands in his pants has become my #1 ick.
If I have to fart while walking on the street, I’ll pick my target for who to crop dust.
Had to cancel my first date in months because I threw my back out bowling.
My recent realization that I don’t have to be close with my in-laws has changed my entire outlook on life.
I went to a very expensive multi course dinner to celebrate a chef who’d passed and didn’t pay. Pretty sure my and my date’s tickets got charged to another person and they didn’t notice. And I’m not about to correct since that person is really wealthy.
Sick to death of all the Coachella grifters all over Instagram.
My ex cheated on me with his coworker after we picked out engagement rings so my friends reported them to HR.
I’ve spent at least $150 on iPhone games this month. What the fuck.
I regret pushing my boyfriend to follow his dream career path. He’s happy at work but never home.
Completed my first marathon this weekend. Going to be insufferable about it all week.
I still love my ex more than life itself but can't do anything about it because I told everyone he's an asshole.
My boyfriend continuously uses the wrong forms of your, there, and too. I actually don’t think he knows the correct form to use.
Each of my guy best friends start to hit on me when they have too much to drink. This weekend was no different. Sigh.
I have a restraining order on my ex. We still talk daily.
I stayed in bed until 4pm yesterday.
I am straight but would go for Christina Koch.
I fantasize about staying overnight in the hospital just to get a break and eat those little packages of graham crackers and cups of cranberry juice.
My husband picks at his fingers and bites his nails and it fills me with intense rage every day.
My husband has lately developed bad breath and I used to eat toothpaste, even in my teenage years.
Was more excited for my first drink of rosé postpartum than having an actual baby…
A friend told me that I look naturally skinny, like “you’re skinny but you can tell you don’t work out.” I just smiled, but it actually really hurt because I do work out.
I went to a wedding this weekend and told everyone I’m in love with the best man. His new girlfriend was there.
I visibly wear noise-cancelling headphones at work and it pisses me off every single time my coworkers wave their hands in front of me to get my attention. I know you’re there, Sarah. I’m doing actual work.
Bought a pack of cigs behind my husband’s back and smoked 3 of them behind the dumpster of the gas station while questioning everything in life.
I’m ashamed of how often I think about the friends who don’t think about me at all.
I used to judge people for exaggerating on their resumes. Now I’ve been laid off for months and I’m like maybe we were all just doing a little creative writing to survive.
I got my boyfriend into ass play and now I’ve created a monster.
Went out to brunch saying I was gonna have one drink ended up having eight and I am full of regrets.
I know deep in my bones that I’ll get a chance to go to the Masters some day and I think the universe is waiting to give me tickets until I lose some weight so I’ll be happier with how I look in the pictures I’ll take on the course.
I’m obsessed with skincare — and when I can’t sleep, I close my eyes and replay the most satisfying zit extractions my face has ever gifted me. Every. Single. One.
Fighting intrusive thoughts of confessing my feelings to my best friend before he proposes to his girlfriend in June.
My dog obsessively follows me around when I’m on my period.
Tried to split the G to celebrate Rory winning the Masters and I wasn’t even close.
I use my air fryer every single day for all types of food and it gets cleaned like maybe quarterly.
Really trying hard not to blow up my friend group by asking one of the girls why she doesn’t like me.
My friend told me they had to hire someone to install their Ring doorbell and I immediately thought less of them.
I use my husband's razor to shave my mustache every morning. He has no idea.
I work from home, and I haven't logged in for 10 days.
Not sure if my lack of interest in Artemis II is because I haven’t read the right articles about it or if I’m just stupid.
I went to Coachella and I think I hated it.
Last year, I lied to my ex and told him I went to the Masters. He believed me. I said that just to piss him off and it worked.
I have to let go 5 people tomorrow morning.
My boyfriend started a podcast and now i have the ick.
I itch my bug bites until they bleed, and I like it.
My neck hurts from being on my phone too much. A new low.
I lost my job and I need all my friends to stop acting so fucking positive about it—it’s not a vacation.
I don’t like brushing my teeth at the same time as my husband cause then he’ll know I didn’t do it the full 2 minutes.
I’ve been traveling more frequently for work and while I love falling asleep next to my boyfriend snuggled with our cats, I’ve sincerely never slept better than after a cab sav at a hotel bar, before a 108° shower where I use way too much hotel conditioner and then setting the thermostat to 65° before nestling myself between the 3 extra king sized down pillows I politely asked house-keeping to bring me while logging into my Netflix account and not making it through the first episode of some murder docuseries.
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