Sunday Confessions: 4-5-26
I didn’t feel great this weekend so I spent a significant amount of time cleaning and organizing my home office and desk area. It was so clean of random coffee table books that my son asked me, “When did you get this new desk?” Looks like I need to clean up there more.
Anyway, here are this week’s confessions.
I’m in love with my best friend who is in love with her boyfriend.
My friend added her Amazon account to my fetch rewards account so I could bank more points. Now I’m actually just obsessed seeing what they order on Amazon.
I save my broken off acrylic nails and mail them anonymously to my brother when they fill a teeny ziplock, like the ones I imagine coke being in.
I’m a graduate from an SEC school. My senior year, a friend asked if I could forge her transcript to get her an internship at a major news network because she didn’t have the required GPA. I was horrified and cut contact. Well, someone did it. Since interning, she went on to work at Fox News and the RNC. I’ve held this in for years.
I was masturbating in the shower and blacked out and chipped my front tooth. I now have to come up with a believable lie to tell my family at Easter brunch.
I was in love with my best friend but I saw him in this poorly styled outfit and now the feelings have disappeared. Maybe I just need a new hobby.
I love the way the crotch of my yoga pants smell after I’ve worked out.
Seriously considering reigniting my financially irresponsible passion for high-end loose leaf teas.
I think I’m becoming a Disney adult.
Nothing ruins my life more than the “change your password” notification.
I got gum stuck on our window and told my husband it was just bird poop.
For the longest time I thought this account was run by a woman.
I throw leftovers away and tell my wife I ate them.
When people I know update their roles on LinkedIn I always Glassdoor the company and role to see how much they make.
The bar results come out in a week and it’s feeling like the small vacation after the exam is over. Either it’s going to be positive or I’m just going to spiral. Again.
I never change my air filters.
I think my friends have been pushing me out, b/c I still don’t make as much money and can’t afford exotic vacations/expensive dinners. The cherry on top is that I just lost my job and now no one is texting me anymore.
Skipping church to bed rot on Easter Sunday.
my wife confessed to being a disney adult and i’m not sure i can look at her the same way
My ex husband has to submit all his porn purchases/subscriptions before our next court meeting. How embarrassing for him.
I think my husband is bisexual.
Sometimes I cheat when I do my Duolingo lessons.
I can’t stand family functions because I can’t stand my family.
I don’t know what happened last night, but my pants were left outside and now they smell like cheese.
I made my Instagram public to get attention from men.
James Marsden has an absolute chokehold on me. I loved him since The Notebook and I would now do the absolutely most filthy things with the Friends and Neighbors version of him.
I’m saying shit like “miss you more” and holding hands across the table in public. I don’t know who I’ve become but I love it and realize I deserve it.
I’ve told all my friends I stopped dating this guy because he’s an a-hole, when in fact I am still secretly dating him - and it is, indeed, because I enjoy that he’s an a-hole.
My high school crush just followed me on Instagram. It’s been since HS since I saw him. Lowkey want to accept then block.
I found out this weekend the only reason my mother and sister invite me on trips is because I check a bag and pack full size toiletries they can use.
My boss is in a relationship with a married man. I want nothing more than for them to get caught.
My hate towards Amanda Batula is the fuel I used to rage clean my shower this week
I pierced my own ear this weekend. I’m 39. I think this is a sign that I might be going through something.
I cried at Valvoline yesterday.
I moved out of state to a big city a couple years ago, and I don’t think I’ll ever admit to my friends and family that I actually hate it here.
Was too tired after drinking mimosas all day to get out of bed to take my disposable contacts out last night, so I tossed them in an empty tea cup on my nightstand. Forgot and used that mug for coffee this morning. Found one contact at the bottom. Definitely drank the other one.
We finally kissed.
I’ll go back through and rearrange the dishwasher if anyone besides me loads it.
I use ChatGPT as a training coach to help me plan my workouts but actively judge other people who use AI for things.
My ex called me from jail to ask if I could come pick him up after getting arrested for a DUI. We haven’t spoke since the breakup months ago. I still said yes. Don’t tell my sister.
My husband’s singing voice gives me the biggest ick.
I have a problem and can’t stop buying Rhode lip products.
Said I was sick and bailed on all family Easter plans. Currently drinking champagne in my pajamas. Best decision ever.
Went for $1 wings and beers at Pluckers instead of Easter Mass.
Came home from an international trip a day earlier to get laid! Didn’t tell anyone and would do it again!
Last night I made out with a coworker of the guy I’ve been seeing for 6 months. The coworker is 10 years younger than me.
I broke up with my boyfriend because I just found out he was drunk and offered c*ke to my aunt.
I genuinely resurrected from my hangover state this morning.
There was a medical situation on my flight today and selfish me thought “I hope they are ok, but also I hope my flight doesn’t divert.”
I only mop like once a year. I’ve got a dog and kid and the floors are gross and I just don’t care.
People always talk about how much you should leave your hometown but no one ever mentions the heart ache when your whole heart (whole family) stayed there. Life’s in the little moments and it’s hard missing those.
Having people notice my weight loss is absolute crack. Keep the comments coming, seriously.
I have more faith in Etsy witches than I do in the US government.
Secretly loving that the newest member to marry into the family is a train wreck. It makes me look so good. Finally a shitty family member they deserve.
