Sunday Confessions: 4-26-26
I did something yesterday that I’m not proud of: I missed an edition of The Sunday Digest for the first non-holiday reasons in a very long time. But the coffee I drank with my family members while sitting around my parents’ living room simply was all I needed. It will be back next week — I promise.
Anyway. This week’s confessions.
My French boyfriend slips into his native tongue when dirty talking to me and I have no idea what he’s saying. It’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced.
I’m so bad at math—whenever I have to calculate something, my mind just fills with seagulls.
I have absolutely no idea what it is I actually want in life and recently have had major anxiety about it and feeling so much pressure to make a decision for some reason. It has been all-consuming and so mentally taxing.
Since December, I have read the word count equivalent of War and Peace eight times exclusively through Heated Rivalry fanfiction and I have absolutely no intention of stopping anytime soon.
Sacrificed my dignity and told a situationship (who ghosted me 6 months ago) that I miss him. This is why I need girlfriends bc what the hell did I do.
redownloaded hinge and made the age range 40+. i’m 26. don’t know what will come of it hoping for a dilf.
Every couple of weeks I will pick a person in my local office to leave flowers / encouraging notes for at their desk before anyone is in. I hear about it, will never let on it’s me, and get the biggest joy knowing someone’s day is a little brighter.
Heavily regretting not taking the early flight right now.
i’m a barista and often, if a customer orders skim milk i just use the whole milk because it’s usually out. i also don’t see the health benefit of skim milk… also, i’ve never had a customer notice.
36 y/o woman here. Masturbated 5/7 days last week thinking about my 23 year old neighbor.
I listened to Noah Kahan’s new album because I wanted to cry. Not one tear was shed. I fear I may be dead inside. I need to cry but can’t.
So many of my friends are on GLP-1s and I genuinely think they all looked better before losing weight.
Just bought a flip phone, put my condo on the market, started a WFH role, and am bidding on a house in remote upstate NY. I haven’t told anyone yet.
My best friend hooked up with a man who is bald and missing a tooth. We did some internet digging last night and found out he’s married with kids.
I still use my fingers for basic math.
I don’t use sunscreen.
My husband doesn’t know that I refill our $1300 coffee machine with tap water instead of filtered. He would be livid.
Maternity leave ends today. Seriously thinking of sending in my resignation tomorrow at 8am.
my daily before-bed treat is allowing myself to continue the fake scenario I’ve got going on in my head about meeting my celeb crush and him falling in love with me.
I lie to my job that I have therapy before work one day a week so I can sleep in and go for a walk.
He may look like a sickly Victorian child but I would do unspeakable things to Quinn Hughes. My haunted prince.
I think everyone is doing more with their life than I am.
The guy I’m talking to said his red flag is he’s clingy but honestly maybe that’s what I need in my life, a clingy man that’s obsessed with me.
Got Botox for the first time Friday night. Been staring at the mirror ever since waiting for it to work.
Accepted my high school crush on Insta and spent all day stalking him to realize he’s just a boring family man with kids and a dad bod.
Every time I trim the wicks of my scented candles, I think of Will deFries.
Editor’s Note: This makes me far happier than it should.
My wax lady died. Who is going to wax my butthole now?
I don’t really want to have kids but I’m considering getting pregnant just so I can quit my job.
I will never date someone who owns a Tesla.
Ghosted a guy because he’s not a great speller.
Don’t know if I’m being ghosted by the girl I went out with this week and don’t know if my ex liking my story is her trying to get back in my life.
I take melatonin to sleep every single night. Haven’t read any real research about it but it can’t be good for me.
Sometimes I notice a cat hair in my food and I’m too lazy to pick it out so I just eat it.
On a work trip this week and looking forward to business class flights, room service, hotel robes and 65° air conditioning.
There is something so chic about gaining weight when everyone is on ozempic.
I think about how my Spotify wrapped will look way too much and adjust my listening accordingly so that people will think I’m cool when I share it at the end of the year.
When I clean my toilets, I splash some of the water with toilet bowl cleaner on the floor and use it to mop my entire house.
I used a microplaner for garlic for the evening pot roast and I definitely microplaned the tips of my fingernails. Hopefully they cooked down.
When we were in our first couple of years together, I made my boyfriend delete his Instagram because I looked at his search history and he was viewing basically pornographic type profiles. I felt like it was cheating. He now tells everyone he doesn’t have socials because he “likes to live off the grid.”
I never, ever want kids. But I kind of want to experience the feeling of pregnancy. That’s weird isn’t it.
I really wish I could beat the shit out of my co-worker just once. I think it would solve every problem.
I just realized my ex looks like the Dollar Tree version of Chet Hanks, and I think that is a good enough reason to reevaluate my life now.
My close personal friend Megan Thee Stallion got cheated on. I made my bf sleep on the couch and he understood why.
Life is going well. Makes me nervous.
I ate an entire cheesecake today.
