Sunday Confessions: 3-1-26
Sure, I’ll do a confession this week.
I’ve been having trouble staying awake for entire shows lately only to wake up at the credits and have to go back and find where I left off. I then stay up even later because I can’t stay awake for 59 consecutive minutes if it’s after 9 o’clock.
Anyway, here are this week’s confessions.
I never salt my pasta water.
I like the male attention when I go to clubs. My friends keep pushing for us to go to gay clubs so we won’t have any guys dancing on us, but I like that attention. I’m done pretending I don’t.
I decided that being late is fine and I’m no longer even trying to be on time.
I miss making out with random guys on nights out.
Drug my girlfriend’s toothbrush through her cats litter box after I found out she was cheating on me this weekend.
I cried in the club last night.
My husband bought us new Tupperware, and I absolutely hate them.
Got drunk at a work event, talked shit about my boss and don’t remember any of it…Human Resources got the gossip and escalated the situation.
I want my trainer to rail me.
Snored so loud I woke myself up… first time staying at my boyfriend’s house.
I use my morning sickness as an excuse to read smut on the couch all day.
Microdosing mushrooms helped quiet my brain more than any prescription has.
I am turning 40 soon, and I really miss my hoe-ing college years.
I feel like I’m in my aesthetic prime and yet every man in Boston is short, conservative, or both.
A very drunk friend told me I have a lot of insecurities and a week later my therapist told me I am prone to grandiosity.
I wipe back to front and have my whole life.
I day drank for the first time in over a year. I had 3 drinks, came home, ordered food and passed out. Woke up 6 hours later to a cold cheese quesadilla on the front door.
I’m literally weeks away from having a baby and I’ve never changed a diaper and I don’t know how to.
I’m in love with my coworker and we barely speak to each other. Like I’m addicted to her.
I just signed up for a half marathon. I said I would never be this person. I actively make fun of this person. Fuck.
My roommate started running recently and even signed up for a half marathon. I literally can’t stand listening to her talk about it anymore I hope she trips on a curb to end both our suffering.
I think my best friend is about to fly across the country to tell me they love me. I love them back. I feel like I’m living in a rom-com in the best way.
Someone vomited on my foot last night.
Spent an ungodly amount of money on a skin care serum that was completely unnecessary.
My (f) best friend (f) kissed me in October drunkenly in the bathroom, with tongue. I had never kissed a girl before and I don’t think I would again, but it was hot.
I’m falling for a man who lives 7,700 miles away from me.
Mental health now includes taking rage walks where I play out what I really want to tell people… my average pace/mile improved by a full minute.
Really enjoying some Enya lately, but I’m worried it’s going to throw off my Spotify algorithm.
I used a Taylor swift lyric while I was fighting with my boyfriend.
I did a short stint as an escort 10 years ago. My friends and family have no idea.
Walked by a car and the people inside were having sex… low key got jealous.
My boyfriend isn’t honest with his golf score and it drives me more crazy than it should.
Nearly six years into taking most work calls on Zoom and I still only look at myself on camera.
The barista I absolutely fantasize about gave me my matcha for free today. We’re basically married now.
Back on my BS and by that I mean Ozempic.
About a month back, I heard a man say in third person “daddy needs another drink,” in a serious tone, to two of his colleagues. I cannot get past this ick and think about it often.
My bf hung out with an old friend (girl) when he was on a work trip and didn’t tell me about it for an entire month. It’s been a year and I’m just as angry about it now as I was then. Actually, writing this made me mad all over again.
My high school boyfriend took my best friend to prom 2 weeks after we broke up. It’s been 22 years and I’m still not over it.
I hold it against most of my friends that in the year I was off Instagram 90% of them basically forgot they can communicate with me.
I can’t tell if this guy is staring at me or it’s my fantasy at the gym. Either way, I’m turned on.
Feeling morally superior that you woke up with a hangover and I did not.
I spent way too long looking at my ex’s wife’s Bluesky, which just feels depressing to say.
I think I made the other women in the moms group jealous when we started discussing our sex lives. Proud moment for me.
My drunk self deletes my text messages so my sober self won’t know what I did.
I know we’ve put it to bed, but this past weekend was a full brat summer vibe. Partied until 06.00 both nights, made out with multiple guys and to quote Charli was “just living my life”. Now sat at my desk like nothing ever happened, but still desperately tired.
Just found out that my husband pees in the sink.
