Sunday Confessions: 5-17-26
Been unable to keep my eyes open after 10 p.m. lately. While I haven’t hated it, I have been waking up between 5 a.m. and 5:45 a.m. most mornings. I need to be more productive before my alarm goes off at 7:10.
Anyway, this week’s confessions —
I don’t think I like the name I chose for my baby but it’s too late to change it.
I have an alert set for when my husband comes home. So I can stop scrolling on my phone and look like I’m doing something around the house.
Engaged and I have no desire to set a wedding date.
Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary of a marriage that lasted 9 months that no one in my current day life even knows about.
I still do the Wordle every day and routinely cheat at it.
I think it’s embarrassing when men get sick. My husband is and it’s giving me the ick.
my boyfriend threw up and i still had sex with him an hour later.
My co-worker is proposing to his girlfriend next weekend and I hate him so much I’m tempted to ruin the surprise.
my absolute biggest pet peeve is when people post a menial stupid task on their story with the green checkmark emoji.
I’m a sucker for his freckles.
I have worn the same bra everyday for 7 years. It’s never been washed. Not once.
Spent 2 weeks prepping for a promotion I know I’m qualified for but bombed the interview. I cringe when I think of my answers. I need to get out of corporate America.
I have an intense urge to hook up with my old drug dealer. He’s a felon, I honestly don’t care.
My wife went on GLP-1 at her and her doctor’s election. She’s lost 60 pounds. I miss her weight.
I act like I’m too good for Pilates, but the truth is that I’ve never done it and now it’s too late. I’m too afraid to embarrass myself to go with my friends and learn.
I had sex on the kitchen counter while my roommates were gone. They have no idea.
My co-worker is causally seeing a guy who she claims is “not very well endowed” but she didn’t elaborate on size. I really want how small his dick actually is.
I keep Facebook just so I can watch ingrown toe removal vids.
Moving back to my hometown has been so much better for my mental health even though I feel like my friends look down on me for it.
When I bartend, I find so much joy in taking cash tips from old white men who think they peek my interest.
I throw away batteries in the regular trash.
I’ve been selling my boyfriend’s stuff on Facebook to fund the jewelry he won’t buy me.
I love the smell of sunburned skin.
I hate domestic travel. If I’m on a plane, it better be to an exotic beach or somewhere abroad.
I take therapy calls at work because I might as well get paid for sobbing in my office.
I just want to get pregnant so I have an excuse to not come into work and still get paid.
Dumped an accountant so I could date a cowboy.
It’s almost summer and I want to wear a speedo, but am afraid friends will think I’m gay.
I’m the process of buying a house and I have no idea what’s going on.
Slept with my server from The Office in Cabo. In his car.
I’m convinced my shrink is sick of me. It’s been less than three months.
I always lie about my body count… I always say it’s 13 but really, it’s 26.
I have strong opinions about certain celebrities, but I never say anything in comments and stuff, cause in the off chance they see it, I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
I still think about this epic zit I popped 20 years ago.
I have tried over and over and over and I officially hate farmers markets!
My situationship occasionally has a touch of bad breath, so now I have to decide if the hog is worth the halitosis.
I get irrationally annoyed when sellers on Depop won’t give me a special offer after I like an item they posted.
If you want to use ChatGPT to organize your life, that’s whatever to me. But if you’re using it to run your life, you’ve just given up.
I peed twice in the hotel sink on vacation because my partner kept taking too long in the bathroom.
I can’t help myself if the cigs are in a communal bowl.
I think I met the person I’m going to marry this week. He has no idea.
My therapist asked me if I’ve ever actually had a crush on anyone and I’m realizing I probably have a lot more issues than I thought I did.
Did pushups to do a keg stand to flex on the boys.
Got dumped this morning. Letting myself cry about it until I have my lashes filled this afternoon.
I haven’t been hungover in about 3 weekends and it feels amazing.
Made out with the coworker I was trying to keep at a distance and now he’s telling me he loves me.
I am determined to have the best beach bod in the friend group, and I fully acknowledge I’m starting wayyyyy too late.
A girl I have started seeing got annoyed at me over the weekend when I didn’t tell her to cancel her plans to see me. It’s so toxic but so fucking hot.
I have been struggling so much as a therapist lately that I want to quit my job, but I stay for my clients.
I’ve discovered I like making myself gag once or twice with my toothbrush when brushing my tongue.
Recently discovered that one of my best friends uses ChatGPT for literally everything instead of Google and it makes me so mad.
Yesterday was the sixth time that I snuck out to hook up with a boy in the backseat of his car.
Sometimes I genuinely do think I’m better than others.
I take my Oura ring off when I know I’m going to have bad stats.
Psychic told me I won’t be a kept woman this weekend and it’s floored me.
I cancelled my Sunday flight so I could keep drinking in NYC. I will regret this.
