Sunday Confessions: 5-10-26
My confession this week is that despite mentally committing myself to unpacking from the trip I just returned from, I still didn’t do a single thing about it yesterday. Someone please remind me next time that doing laundry on Monday night is far worse than doing it lethargically on Sunday.
Here are all of this week’s confessions.
I start therapy today.
It’s been 6 months and my ex’s toothbrush is still in the cup in my bathroom serving as a painful reminder of a love we just couldn’t get right and yet I can’t bring myself to toss it.
The further into my pregnancy I go, the more I resent my in-laws.
i miss swiping my credit card. tapping just does not hit the same way. bring back swiping!
Everyone thinks I’ve got my shit together but I’ve spent all morning crying because misophonia is ruining my life.
Drunkenly Venmo requested all the guests who no-showed for my wedding for the cost of their plate.
It’s Mother’s Day and I just wish my kids would leave me alone.
I enjoy tweezing my pubes. It gives me the same satisfaction as popping a pimple.
Being on Hinge has me losing all self-esteem.
Went home with a stranger from the bar for the first time ever. No regrets.
When I drink, I take off my smart watch before bed because I don’t need a machine making me feel worse about myself.
Been married two years. Realized this weekend I cannot stand my father-in-law.
I scheduled two elective procedures but told my spouse it was only one surgery. Can’t return it once it’s done.
I’m starting to get annoyed with my friend group. I’m 33 so I feel like I can’t restart with new ones.
I’ve been exclusively listening to smut while walking my dog and at the gym. Never been this fit or horny in my life.
I’m militant about picking up my dog’s poop. Unless he does it on the grass in front of the super hateful church where I live.
If I’m staying at your house and you have one of them good shower heads (wink wink), I’m 100% using it.
I didn’t wish my mom happy Mother’s Day.
I quit my job over a year ago after a manager made a rude comment when my mom died. I’m desperate for a new job and haven’t found one. Had to start being a sugar baby to pay my rent, it’s not as bad as people think.
It’s Mother’s Day and my husband set the bar extremely low for Father’s Day.
My screen time was 52 hours this past week. 21 total hours spent on instagram. I recognize this is bad.
Thinking about moving to a new city and state. I’d be ok away from family, but can’t imagine life without my therapist.
Mother’s Day to me is just a reminder of how wonderful everyone else’s mom is and how not wonderful mine is.
I tell my wife I’m going for a walk to get my steps, but instead I go and practice my skateboarding. She says it’s childish but I’ve always wanted to learn to carve a longboard. People who can do that look so cool. I’m 48.
I flicked the bean to 21 Jump Street Channing Tatum.
I love blond men.
Booked a meeting room at work titled focus time for a job interview with a headhunter for a new job.
The only reason I’m still dating my bartender boyfriend is because he knows a bunch of reality stars, and I’m waiting for my chance to get on TV.
My current top fantasy is that someone says, “It seems like your anxiety over the parking situation for X event is preventing you from going. Why don’t I handle parking and transportation. Would you want to go then?”
I make $350,000 a year and I have $2500 in savings.
I fucking hate Mother’s Day.
Editor’s Note: This exact sentence was submitted at least 10 times.
Secretly want the hantavirus pandemic to happen so I can work nurse travel and buy a Mercedes.
Lost my nerve when I went to go ask out the hot guy at the gym. I only see him on Sunday mornings so another week will go by until I can try again. I’ll probably never have sex again.
My credit card debt is so bad that I’m declaring bankruptcy. I haven’t felt this much peace in a while.
Slept over at my ex fiancé’s house last night and still made it to Mother’s Day brunch on time.
I don’t buy cotton buds anymore because I got a bit addicted to cleaning my ears (it just feels SO good?!) but when I go over to other people’s houses I check if they have any in their bathroom cabinets and if they do I use one there and then and then take one in my pocket for later.
I have been watching playoff hockey at the local pub and I’ve developed a full-blown crush on the hot 20-something waiter with his long legs and permanent bed head. I’m half watching the game and half thinking about him taking me in the back room.
My partner not bothering to change from his cheap house joggers for two social occasions has been the final straw this weekend.
A guy at a conference I attended this week flirted with me. I’m happily married, but as a mom of 2 toddlers, I’m thrilled to report I still got it.
Someone in my apartment building DoorDash’d food yesterday. It sat in the lobby all night so this morning I took it and gave it to my dog for her birthday.
I found Bud Lite Apple in my youngest kid’s mini fridge last night and I drank them and left the empty cans on his desk.
I got a terrible haircut, immediately went into depression and question my identity as a person.
I hate being on keto.
On Mother’s Day I was showing my MIL and FIL photos of a night away with their son. We flipped through some pictures of us at dinner and the food we ate and then we landed on a video of my husband fingering me!
I’m changing everything about myself to win my ex back.
My husband uses my work schedule as his excuse to avoid seeing his mother. Not complaining.
I’ve never paid a medical bill. And nothing bad has ever happened from it. I’ve just watched my balance reduce over the years.
I’m considering calling out of work tomorrow just to yearn for my crush.
I told my therapist I started using the Ash app, she was not happy.
I was 18 when I met the love of my life. I knew he was the one the minute I sat next to him in class - steady, peaceful, electrifying all at the same time. But we never really got the timing right. It’s been 25 years and I am still in love with him as much today as I was then. He has no idea.
I’m convinced a healthy amount of the population eats their boogers but none of them want to admit it. I’m part of that population.
I’ve become the person I hate — the person who uses AI to answer most of their questions.
I think people who love sending voice note texts need to get over themselves.
There’s a dead fly in my fridge. It’s been there for over a month. Instead of getting it out, I just keep hiding it with my lime juice.
I’m really enjoying the anxiety that comes sneaking cigarettes from my partner. But I just wanna smoke regularly again.
I went on a second cruise in search of a bartender I liked on the first cruise. Found him. He recognized me. Asked me to brunch at his restaurant. Rejected me. I had an amazing time anyways because I was drunk for five days straight.
my family has complimented my weight loss… i tell them it’s cause of the gym but in reality it’s cause i can’t afford groceries.
After years and years of very rough (physically and mentally) fertility treatments we decided we were okay and satisfied with our lives and decided we’d be the rich aunt and uncle with dogs who travelled all the time. I love our life, genuinely. Mother’s Day doesn’t usually bother me, but this year is absolutely destroying me.
I’ve never had money anxiety around dating until I realized this man is in a completely different tax bracket than most of America.
My latest revelation that I’ll discuss in therapy came from a smut book.
I think my husband is asexual. Wish he would have let me know 11 years ago.
My bestie blocked me from her stories, so odd.
I secretly throw away at least 5 of my kids toys a week to try to keep our house clean.
I fear it was too early to take a friends trip with this friend.
Bought myself a Louis Vuitton tote for Mother’s Day. Plot twist: I don’t have kids.
