How 53 People in Chicago Cure Their Hangovers
The burger from Au Cheval that certainly lived up to the hype.
I’ve always had a negative relationship with the city of Chicago despite acknowledging that it’s one of the best American cities out there. The reason? Well, hangovers.
For years, my experience with Chicago was wash, rinse, repeat — arrive in the city, drink in bars all weekend, and get shot out of a cannon back to my bed in Northern Michigan. While I did enjoy my time there, I was always licking my wounds afterward for far longer than I’m willing to admit. Even thinking about my hangover from Saint Patrick’s Day 2011 sends shivers down my spine.
Given that Chicago has more Sunday Scaries followers than any city except New York, I thought it was the perfect place to start.
Here’s the entire list of Chicagoan hangover cures:
Small Cheval; double cheeseburger and fries with the garlic aioli.
Red Juice from Chicago Health Foods. Start your walk north to the Lincoln Park Nature Walk and then come back down via the Lake Shore Path. Order the Downstairs Burger from 8bar.
Without a doubt, the best hangover cure in the city is a walk to the lake and a swim, then walking to Gotham Bagels in Lakeview for a bagel sandwich and a coffee. Jump in the lake jolts your system and the walk to get bagels helps you sweat out the booze.
Eleven City Diner will heal your soul.
Whatever you do, get to Pleasant House Pub in Pilsen. The brunch burger is outstanding, and you can watch a soccer match in your elevated sweats. Aire Ancient Baths is nice for recovery if you’re not too sick, but I don’t recommend the massages there.
Chicago Bagel Authority. A Messy Katie can fix the worst of them.
Au Cheval burger or Lou Malnati’s deep dish.
Loaf Lounge - breakfast sandwich with a hashbrown, a Bloody Mary, and a Topo Chico.
Pick Me Up Cafe’s “Clown Combo” breakfast.
I get a large cold brew coffee from La Colombe and a sausage, egg and cheese from Gotham Bagels. I then walk to the lakefront trail and try to have the lake breeze hit my face in order feel something again.
When I was there for school, I loved Jim’s Original. Walk up hot dog/burger stand. Good, quick greasy food to soak up the alcohol and shame.
Ranalli’s patio, a spritz, and the hot honey soppressata pizza.
Pedialyte, outdoor run on the 606, shower, brunch at Dove’s diner, glass of wine on the patio of Le Midi.
Fairways and Greens smoothie from Left Coast and a dip in the lake.
Eleven City Diner for brunch, then walk to Museum Campus and sit outside the Planetarium and stare at the lake while you contemplate your life choices. The Shedd is also a great way to decompress — if you go during an off time (not overrun with field trips), it’s a remarkably calming place.
Logan Square Farmer's Market tacos.
Something Sweet donuts! So delicious and amazing coffee!
The Farmer’s Egg Skillet from Nookie’s Old Town has cured more of my hangovers than I care to admit. It is life.
Dim Sum at Furama in the Argyle/Uptown neighborhood.
Cafe Tola — alllllllllll the empanadas.
A RHR cheeseburger, cheese fries, and Coke from Red Hot Ranch.
Chicago Bagel Authority (CBA) for a steamwich bagel that will cure any night’s sins.
Breakfast sandwich from Kasama or Loaf Lounge, DoorDash coffee from Philz, breakfast burrito from Colectivo.
Big Chicks + Tweet in Uptown. Cash only, but vibes are impeccable. For sure a neighborhood favorite and the Bloody Mary bar will bring you back to life!
Ramen San spicy kimchi fried chicken ramen.
Doma breakfast sandwich, add the hashbrown.
A nice public rot at the lakefront. Trader Joe’s snacks and Diet Cokes packed. Lying down with the pals… or Uber Eats’ing cheesy bread from The Pasta Bowl.
Long walk along the lake, with Collectivo coffee in hand, a giant water bottle and a dive into Lake Michigan. If not the vibe, an espresso martini from The Vig will cure anything.
A thick bacon, egg, & cheese bagel from Steingolds
MCCB in Chinatown. Cold spicy noodles. The full Anthony Bourdain method with a Coke and a joint also helps!
Grab a coffee and some breakfast and go sit out on Promontory Point in Hyde Park. They have benches but sitting on the massive rocks with the breeze blowing in off the lake is perfect.
Chicago bagel authority + a walk (or a lay) by the lakeshore so you don’t feel like a complete piece of shit.
Gotham bagels. I usually get an everything bagel with cream cheese, but if it’s a particularly bad hangover, a plain egg bagel with no cream cheese is the move.
Check out Duck Duck Goat. Amazing fried rice and soup dumplings.
Bageler in Lincoln Park. Everything bagel, plain cream cheese, add tomatoes, add bacon. Cold brew (black). But really, just jump in the lake and all will be right in the world.
Parsons Chicken & Fish, fried food and hair off the dog in the form of a Negroni slushy.
Cheese fries from Buffalo Joe’s or Irving’s, preferably.
Rocks Lake View. Delicious smash burgers and a great drink list to get you feeling human again.
A chiliquilles breakfast burrito, fruity pebbles donut, and a cold brew with oat milk from the Cafe Urbano on Elston and Avers.
Gotham Bagel for hangover breakfast if you’re down so bad you can’t leave the couch. Otherwise, Third Coast for brunch and the beverage trifecta (coffee, sprite, Bloody Mary) and the veggie hash with poached eggs. If your hangover lingers into the evening get a burrito from Carbon in West Town, with mixed flour and corn chips and the medium salsa.
Chief O’Neils Sunday Brunch. All you can eat brunch. Guinness and Bloody Mary. Logan Square and Portage Park Farmers market. Aire Bath house.
Lake walk is a must. Preceded or followed (depending on severity/type of hangover) by brunch or late lunch (again depending on the caliber of hangover) at Third Coast Cafe (hashbrowns, bacon, sourdough toast and ice water) or RL Restaurant (Sancerre, wagyu pigs in a blanket, fries and people watching).
Lay in bed until 9 or 10. Head to the Pedestrian on Belmont for an oversized iced coffee and a sourdough cinnamon roll. Read or disassociate in the coffee shop until noon and then head next door to CBA for a steamed bagel sandwich. Take the bagel to the lakefront and fall asleep in the grass. Works every time.
West Sider sandwich from Humboldt Haus, smothered in Haus Dressing. Bonus: They have a taproom if the situation is dire enough for hair of the dog.
Valois Restaurant in Hyde Park. Cash only, cafeteria-style diner that feels like walking into an 80’s time capsule. No nonsense. Just great food.
A cheese dog and cheese fries from The Dog Stop cures any hangover. The far NW side is so slept on.
Phodega for the spiciest pho on the menu and then get bundled up on the couch and watch *insert any Chicago sports team* lose.
A bagel from Tilly Bagel and an espresso from Cafe Deko in the South Loop. Forces me to get up and be outside to breathe and then I can lay out on my couch the rest of the day.
A big iced coffee — I’m partially to Gaslight Coffee — and a long stroll through the Logan Square Farmers Market. Some of my best Sundays are spent that way.
Chicago Bagel Authority (multiple locs throughout the northside) always heals my soul - they steam their bagel sandos so they are soft, comforting, and delicious. The Eternal Sunshine (scrambled egg, bacon, lox spread, onion, tomato, avocado & tabasco on bialy) is hearty enough to combat lingering booze while not being so heavy that you can’t go for a walk by the lake after to further soothe your senses.
Chilaquiles and a smoothie from Cafe Tiztal. Followed by the longest nap possible.
The Zoo. Seriously. It’s free, it’s beautiful, and on a nice day it’s a perfect walk. Plus, you can zone out during the seal feeding show.
A jump off the concrete ledge, into the lake, and a crispy can of Diet Coke waiting when I get out.
