In 9th grade, my football coach told me that in 20 years I'd be drinking Miller Lite on a beach with a beer gut and the same scrawny appendages. I'm trying to prove him right.
A necessary evil.
RIP Leonardo DiCaprio.
The cream rises to the top.
Hot Bros doing Hot Bro things.
Of course Rihanna is first ballot. What are you, new?
Yeah, Old Man Body is TOTALLY going to give up tobacco products until April.
"Nicotine rocks." - Old Man Body
Life isn't over after football season ends.
"...because if you’re like me, you want to get messy."
"I don’t talk to homeless people and I wear mirrored shades so I don’t have to look them in the eye." - Old Man Body
If you can't get a little honey on your stinger with some Diet Cherry 7-Up, then you're hopeless.
New Year, New OMB.
Because if you don't have a member of the opposite sex giving you relationship advice, you're doing it wrong.
If disliking butt stuff and wanting Bob Seger on Spotify is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
How to make your New Year's Eve not suck.
You don't need to live in a metropolis.
If your Christmas list doesn't revolve après-ski or hunting, then move on. There's nothing to see here.
To date, or not to date?
"If you keep going to family functions without being able to say you’re at least 'seeing' someone, family members are going to start whispering about your sexual orientation."
With great pooches comes great responsibility.
Sunday Scaries ain't no one-trick pony.
You gotta let us run.
On The Great Outdoors.
If you’re eating at chain restaurants when you travel, get the fuck out of my face.
In Old Man Body's first post, we ask: Are you gonna to trust a sober Serbian dude with a cat? Yeah, didn't think so.