Who is this "Old Man Body" bro?

From Sunday Scaries

You may be wondering, who the fuck is this Old Man Body dude writing on Sunday Scaries right now? I thought this Scaries dude was a one-trick pony who just blogged repeatedly about golf courses, hair, and getting super hammered?

Well, one of the first things I ever read from OMB was "You think getting her to fuck you was hard? Try getting her to sleep in the wet spot." So ladies and gentleman, without further ado, I present Old Man Body.

From Old Man Body

Who: I’m Old Man Body. You can call me OMB for short. Old Man Body because I literally have the body of a 40 year old man. Always have, always will no matter how much I workout and eat well (obviously stopped those when I realized they didn’t change anything.) I suck Corporate America’s dick by day, and drink bourbon and write by night. I grew up in the frigid North, attended a large state school in the Midwest and I’m gradually working my way south, promotion by promotion, until I hit the Gulf Coast and semi-retire as a flats guide (sort of a refined Forest Gump, if you will).

What: You’ll see me write about a variety of topics for Sunday Scaries. This includes, but is not restricted to: hunting/fishing, the plight of white 20-something males and why Amanda Bynes is the right amount of crazy for me to date.

Why: I honestly wanted to write again because Corporate America bores me to fucking tears. And it helps my Scaries by writing about them. If we’re all Scared collectively, we’re less Scared individually. It’s science.

When: Look for my stuff 2-3 days a week. If you want to hear about it right away, or just want to know that someone, somewhere is in worse shape than you, follow me on the Twitter (slide into my DM’s, gurl).

From Sunday Scaries

Read everything from Old Man Body before he gets caught in a sex scandal and I have to fire him.