I thought I was based until I wrote this and realized I'm the least based person ever.
based (adj): 1. Is when you dont care what people think. its a way of life. doing what you want. how u want. wearing what u want.
"the LV book bag looks gay on you.
idc im based."
2. Having many girls, being a mansion, swagging to the maximum, and looking like jesus. It's a way of life. Not caring what people think, living in a mansion, doing what you want, how you want. Wearing what you want. Thereupon, Lil B, the based god, is the god of all the above events.
"OMG BASED GOD YOU SWAG TO THE MAXIMUM, YOU CAN FUCK MY BITCH BASED GOD"
"Call me black ken" #Based
OF COURSE I'M BASED. I go OP constantly. I HATE phone calls. I LOVE frat laps. I'm my own person. One night, I live-tweeted The Condemned at 2am because I wasn't prepared to stop hanging out with myself (and let's be clear about something - The Hunger Games has the EXACT same plot as The Condemned, but Stone Cold Steve Austin crushes Jennifer Lawrence).
Deep down, isn't being based all that anyone wants? To be their own person, their own entity? Don't we all want to be independent from the effect that others have on us? Sounds like this Lil' B guy is about as OP as they come.
Who doesn't love being the wildcard in life? Being the dude who leaves everyone wanting more, the dude who crushes the Irish Exit? We know every Beyonce-loving broad considers themselves to be "Independent Woman, Pt. 1" - so why can't every bro just be based as hell?
But fuck. I just got hit with a wave of emotions. Do I need to take a step back and look at myself? Am I actually as based as I think I am? I mean, I love my team. I love getting the camaraderie and solidarity of a bro-pack going more than anything in the world. The answer to the question, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump with them?" is obviously "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? OF COURSE I WOULD I WOULD JUMP OFF THAT FUCKIN' BRIDGE!" You think I want to be the lone survivor tooling around a golf course solo-status drinking bromosas out of a straw because I'm a fucking vegetable? No, sir. Nappenin'.
If I'm finna drink some Salty Dogs, Mind Erasers, and Dark & Stormies, I'm finna do it with my crew. They always say that you don't have a problem until you do it alone. Is being based just code for being an alcoholic? Do based people still get to take pontoon boats out? Do based people call golf courses and ask for a 1-some? Do based people sleep on sectional couches... ALONE?! No no no no no. I don't wanna be based anymore.
When I first read about being based, the whole concept had an air of exclusivity to it. The whole basis of being based is like Lil' B's biggest fan/Urban Dictionary linguist said - "Having many girls, being a mansion, swagging to the maximum, and looking like Jesus." Can't we all have many girls? Can't we all be a mansion? Can't we all swag to the maximum? And most importantly, can't we all look like Jesus... together?
Now that I think about it, my entire life is mutually inclusive. I can't truly be mansion if I don't have a dark to my stormy or a voddy-topper to my voddy-soda. One time at a bar, all of my friends were unbuttoning their shirts on the dancefloor looking like they were in a Seal video. I had a polo shirt on, so you know what I did? I ripped my brand new Vineyard Vines shirt in half for solidarity purposes. And that night, we all had many girls, swagged maximumly, looked like Jesus... and were mansion.
Because going with the flow isn't what being based is all about - it's about rolling in an unstoppable bro-squad that intimidates the fuck out of people. It's about making others around you uncomfortable with how loud and awesome you're being. It's embracing the wild card - not being it. It's about being a tidal wave of awesome.
Be you. Be mansion. Be based. But most importantly, whatever you choose to be, be it together.